tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83478132406855072272024-02-08T02:25:30.000-08:00Lost With No MapsA journey for two in the dark to an unknown place.Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-79654996912660908172014-03-08T14:53:00.000-08:002014-03-08T14:53:47.180-08:00It's "her's"I've been living as woman for two years now, two really good years. I was and still am one of the lucky few. I have gone through this transition without losing anything or anyone. My life is truly better in all aspects.
My wife is still here, my relationship with my kids is stronger and better then ever before. My work is busier now then before my transition.
Everywhere I go, I'm not just Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-70030156878072054542012-06-27T08:38:00.002-07:002012-06-27T08:38:47.992-07:00Trying to be happy, like everyone else.I read this from Helen Boyd's blog yesterday and I don't know how to say it any better so I'm going to repost it here without permission, sorry Helen.
There are some “people who think we’re mutants and horrible
people,” said Margolies, who is executive director of the National LGBT Cancer
Network in New York City. “But we’re just regular people struggling to do good
in the world.”
Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-7190531153702801682012-05-11T12:50:00.001-07:002012-05-11T12:50:14.409-07:00The future is mine to chooseSo where do I go from here? For the first time on this path I feel like the future is mine to choose. For a little more then a year now it felt more like E was choosing my path forward. My body and mind were going to go where the E wanted to take them. Now it feels like the future is where I decide to go.
I do have some big decisions to make and I just wanted to spend Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-20458182464036349852012-05-03T17:53:00.000-07:002012-05-03T17:53:34.851-07:00Since this is a journal of my path through this transition, I thought I'd give a quick update of my journey so far.
Where I'm at now :
First and foremost I'm no longer worried about where this will all lead to. I have a pretty good idea where the path goes from here and I'm excited to get there now.
M and I are happy, very happy. She's retired now Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-30243518586265315572012-04-21T14:36:00.001-07:002012-04-21T14:40:41.556-07:00... Dana's a her, not a him. She's your new sister!It took a year but I finally told my brother. I've been working in Denver now for the last few months and as luck would have it he happens to live here. I've managed to avoid telling him the news up until now. I had plans on telling him when I first started working in Denver, but it was right at Xmas time and M didn't want to add that kind of stress to the holidays so I let it Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-11579936209758911092012-04-05T03:53:00.000-07:002012-04-05T03:54:09.423-07:00Why does she stay?
A blog post caught my eye the other day. More or less the author asked why some women stay and some women leave when their partners transition. And as I can’t speak for other couples I’ll try and speak for us. So why does M choose to stay? She married a man, she married Rick, and now I am neither. I’m Dana and while I may not be a woman in the classical definition, Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-70901706580625311492012-03-27T08:33:00.000-07:002012-03-27T08:33:51.593-07:00At what price happinessI've lived with these struggles for almost 50 years now, and except for the last two I've hid them from everyone. I've hid them from the world, from my friends, from my family, from co-workers and customers. I hid these struggles from everyone because of fear. Fear of losing my income, fear of losing friends, fear of losing my family. Fear of not being able to face Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-21419581706634569282011-11-23T08:45:00.000-08:002011-11-23T08:48:53.943-08:00Working and Leading as a WomanI've talked a little in some past posts about my job. One of the more important parts of my job is just leading. Leading is a made up of two critical parts. First, you need the knowledge and experience to make more right decisions then wrong. Enough knowledge about the team's functions to gain everyone's natural respect. Second you need a sense of confidence toDanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-25893544248751649302011-11-11T17:32:00.000-08:002011-11-11T17:32:11.436-08:00Back when I first started down this path I mostly worried about the physical changes E would bring to me and the effects it would have on my relationships with the people in my life. I read all the blogs, I read the research and the papers from the doctors and I had a good idea of what would happen.
The physical changes, I had a general idea of what would happen to my appearances. These changesDanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-60331864705074039752011-11-03T17:31:00.000-07:002011-11-03T17:31:23.396-07:00Life is good, and the days are too shortIt’s Friday morning and I’m having coffee with my FF friends at Starbucks for the first time in a few weeks. I’ve been traveling a lot lately, both work wise and to enjoy a nice vacation. So, this is the first gossip hour lunch I’ve had in a while. As always we talk about the usual stuff, kids, TV, clothes, just everyday things. Towards the end of the hour one of my friends Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-85447390909007869042011-10-21T08:30:00.000-07:002011-10-21T08:30:41.409-07:00Life As A CoupleM and I finally got to go on a vacation last week. It’s been about two years since our last vacation alone. It’s funny how you realize how badly you needed a vacation only after you get back from one. Obviously, a lot has happened since our last vacation and this one was badly needed. We decided to go on a nice long cruise of the Caribbean and do a lot of nothing. Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-69869900511551332622011-10-12T06:45:00.000-07:002011-10-12T06:45:00.860-07:00Why this is so hardI'm tired. It's late at night and I've been gone from home awhile now. Work is wearing on me and E has her grips on me right now. I struggle to keep at this. I'm tired of always thinking of this. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to worry about who knows what. I don't want to 'Write a book'. I just want to be normal.
I need M's warmth Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-37593921756418934722011-10-08T18:45:00.000-07:002011-10-08T18:45:26.180-07:00So now what?So let's see, I've been on this path now for a little less then a year and as I look back on it I can see the tremendous changes that have occurred in that time. I'm living my life as Dana now. My life is so much easier now. I no longer fumble in the morning deciding who I'm going to be. I no longer worry about slipping up and exposing my secret. I'm happy.
In the Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-43018202532804004192011-10-01T09:59:00.000-07:002011-10-01T09:59:22.378-07:00It’s been a year now since I first went to the doctor to start this whole trip. I’ve been on E now for about 8 months. With that, I thought this would be a good time to just let you know where I’m at and where I’m likely to go.
First the big ones, I’m living as Dana now. I have been her for 3 or 4 months now. When I first started, this was my single biggest fear would I Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-58048911519331616882011-09-23T10:14:00.000-07:002011-09-24T17:24:39.873-07:00Parents AgainI told my parents the news last weekend and now I’m heading back to spend another weekend there to answer the first set of questions I’m sure they have. I leave alone this time. M is not with me, I figure this will give my parents a chance to ask questions or bring up sensitive topics without her around. We plan on M taking the boys there in a few weeks to give them time to talkDanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-50082638378676643442011-09-22T09:19:00.000-07:002011-09-22T09:19:07.374-07:00More On My ParentsIf Sunday was one of the harder days on this journey, Monday was one of silence. After years, decades actually, of therapy one thing M and I have learned is to talk about the elephant standing in the room. He isn't going away so you might as well learn to ride him.
Rick told my parents the big news Sunday night after dinner and now it’s Monday morning and I’m looking in Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-81338776600725712222011-09-19T09:53:00.000-07:002011-09-19T09:57:13.026-07:00Not Enough WineSunday was one of the harder days in this whole journey. M and I flew across the country and then drove another hour to go back home again. Home, to see my parents. Home, to visit and catch up with things. Home, to share a few meals and drink some good wine.
Home, to tell my parents their first born son is becoming a woman.
The closer we got to my parents place, the Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-22911164900141231232011-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:002011-08-19T10:58:26.539-07:00The path leads back home.I'm flying home again. I travel a lot and these flights home always give me a chance to slow down and ponder my life's big mysteries. An hour or two at the airport with a multi hour flight home usually means a quick meal and a blog post or two. These last few weeks have been rather non eventful. I spent some time in Chicago where more then a few seemed to see the old Rick.Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-10483400970071259632011-08-13T16:29:00.000-07:002011-08-13T16:29:03.059-07:00“Can I help you ma’am?”“Can I help you ma’am?” I still love hearing it. It’s all I ever get anymore, but it still brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. I was reading through my usual list of blogs the other day and I came across Kathryn’s post about ‘Unremarkable '. She offered how her transition has become 'unremarkable', no great anguish, no drama, just everyday things and adjusting Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-24065084217503690072011-08-09T12:53:00.000-07:002011-08-09T12:53:30.665-07:00The Perfect ConLast week was my birthday, “49+1” as M called it. As a surprise M arranged a small vacation for us just to get away and spend some time together. She had told me earlier to take the week off, but I had no idea where we were going or what we were going to do. She had arranged the whole trip as a surprised. I must admit I’m pretty good at ruining surprises. I seem to Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-49426425715425266632011-07-13T17:24:00.000-07:002011-07-13T17:24:16.979-07:00Yup it's official, my new name is Dana Anne"THE COURT ORDERS The name of Richard Scott is changed to Dana Anne."
Yup it's official, my new name is Dana Anne. Hard to believe. Really, it seems like just yesterday my name was Rick and now it's Dana!
The day started at the court house at 8:30. Turns out the court proceedings were the easiest part of the day. All I had to do was wait in line and say 'Yes' when askedDanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-87850206968529060342011-07-08T15:34:00.000-07:002011-07-08T15:34:01.594-07:00Glimpses of my futureI saw her today. I was at the hair salon getting my hair done, and I caught a quick glimpse of her in the mirror.
A few days ago I saw her toes, I looked down and there they were cute toes, in a new pair of sandals sticking out of her jeans. I heard her giggle the other day. K and I were in the car and I heard her giggle at some silly thing. Just a little while ago I saw Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-88869854036293824462011-06-26T18:44:00.000-07:002011-06-26T18:44:36.353-07:00Lost ConfidenceIt's been a long two weeks and I don't really have much to say. It wasn't my best two weeks that's for sure. I spent a lot of the last two weeks in front of a lot of new people. And seemed to have lost my confidence somewhere along the way. Just having to deal with new people everyday seems to have taken a toll on me. I can't help but wonder as I'm in front of them, just what exactly do the see. Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-56280759715761539042011-06-24T11:57:00.000-07:002011-06-24T11:57:08.345-07:00Still coming out at work...The last post I talked of coming out at work and the initial reactions. Since then I've come out to more and more people. Because of the nature of my job I'm pretty much never in the same city for more then a week at a time. That means each week I have to come out to a whole new group of people. Typically, we do this on a conference call with the station ahead of time so that no one is surprised Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347813240685507227.post-54144090592083610792011-06-14T07:41:00.000-07:002011-06-14T07:41:29.943-07:00Well I did it, I'm out at work.Well I did it, I managed to gather up enough courage or lose enough sanity to finally tell H of my plans. A few posts back I posted some thoughts and worries about the ultimate risk of telling H and coming out at work. But I did it. I'd like to say that I did it because it was becoming obvious, that I was getting maam'd and that the changes were becoming hard to Danahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03419751248345883615noreply@blogger.com1