It's 11:00 in the morning and I've been running now for 4 hours. I'm about 5 miles from Las Vegas and the finish line. My knee feels like it has a knife embedded in it. My legs like they are made of concrete. I'm covered head to toe in the sand from the deserts surrounding Vegas. Every muscle in my body is screaming to stop and relieve them of this dreadful task. It's starting to get hot out, desert Las Vegas hot. I should have finished already, but I'm still at least an hour out.
I knew when I started this race I wasn't prepared. K, my lifetime running partner needs this race to qualify for the Boston marathon and I've been training with her for months now. But, I've been busy and skipped some crucial training runs. And, we trained for speed not endurance. Speed I don't have and I knew from the beginning I'd be able to keep up with her for only the first couple of miles.
I feel like crap, and I'm mentally exhausted from ignoring the pain, and convincing my body to continue on. I'm just starting to come into civilization again and we are just starting to get some spectators along the way. I hear someone yell out "YOU'RE DOING GREAT". 'You're doing great'? Great would have been finished an hour ago, good would be being at the finish line now with just sore legs. There is no great here, I'm barely getting one foot in front of the other, I'm in worse shape then bad. Great, they have no idea.
I don't need someone yelling 'your doing great', that's just stupid and no one, mainly me, believes that for a second. I need someone to say you look like crap, your pace is awful, you've never been is such bad shape, but keep going.
What I need is someone whispering in my ear; I know it hurts, I know your pain, but the finish line is that way and when you get there you will feel the pure joy of finishing the hardest race of your life.
'Beautiful, you look beautifully', no one, mainly me, believes that. I'm so far from beautiful I couldn't see it with a telescope. What I need is some one whispering in my ear; I know it hurts, I know your pain, but the finish line is that way and when you get there you will feel the pure joy of finishing the hardest race of your life.
