Saturday, April 21, 2012

... Dana's a her, not a him. She's your new sister!

It took a year but I finally told my brother.  I've been working in Denver now for the last few months and as luck would have it he happens to live here.  I've managed to avoid telling him the news up until now.  I had plans on telling him when I first started working in Denver, but it was right at Xmas time and M didn't want to add that kind of stress to the holidays so I let it drop.  Then work got crazy and the days got long and I just didn't do it.

That is until M posted on facebook that's she's off to Denver to see her 'sweetie'.  As I read it on her facebook page I thought that maybe my brother doesn't really keep up with facebook and won't see it.  Nope, I was wrong, an hour later he commented that we should drop by for dinner while we're in Denver.

So now the gig is up and I'm going to have to explain this one.  Up until now I've told family and close friends in person.  I'm not a big fan of hiding behind an email or a phone call for this kinda of news.  It just seems that news this big should be delivered in person.  But this time around I really had no choice.  It's been so long since I've been Rick I just couldn't go back, and just showing up as Dana would be a little bit of a shock to say the least.  K volunteered to just go knock on his door and tell him.  But I not sure how that conversation would go...

'Hi, I'm K.  I work with your sister Dana and I just wanted to let you know she has some big news.  .... Of course you have a sister, Oh wait, you know her as your brother Rick. ....  Me, I told you, I'm K, Dana's best friend.  I'm just out here visiting her, him to you, and I thought I'd drop by and tell you he's 'her' now.  Congrats by the way, you're the first born son now.  .... No, I just told you Rick is Dana and Dana's a her, not a him. She's your new sister!  .... No, you don't have an older brother anymore I just told you that.'

Well you get the idea, it's just something you have to do on your own.  And, actually it went well.  It had been awhile since I've had to tell anyone so my delivery was a bit rusty but I remembered all the key points. 

We had dinner with his whole family a few days later and that was nice.  He has four girls ranging from 10 to 18 and he was good enough to introduce Dana to his whole family without hesitating.  M spent some time with them before I got a chance to head out to visit, and they said that helped a lot.  She was able to answer some very personal questions in a safe environment and they got a chance to read her blog.  I've found people consistently take their cues from her.  If she's happy and relaxed about all of this then they relax.  If she is open and honest, they feel comfortable asking questions and spend the time to become comfortable with me.

So in the end, one of my two brothers know now and he's OK with it.  Shocked, a little off balance, and not sure of the new rules, but OK.  He's shared the news with his family and we've spent some time with them. 

One more brother to go, and then that's it, everyone will be in the know.  I've saved the hardest for last I'm afraid.

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